If you pull me on your lap there is a 101% chance I’m going to make out with you.
i would advise you to avoid santa
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
(kru), n, Persons who get no credit for the successful outcome of a show but accept all the blame for any mistakes
A Halloween PSA
Halloween store are popping up, which means that no matter how offensive you find the costumes, DO NOT harass the employees or make their lives miserable by defacing merchandise. They are seasonal, minimum wage workers and attacking them gets you nowhere.
I’m totally going to lose weight just so I can wear suspenders and vests and ties again.